Young One,
I know you often look in the mirror and wonder who you are.
But who you are comes in waves and just as quickly, you are left wondering once more “Who Am I?”
You wonder at your inability to fit in where your siblings blossomed.
You wonder at why you prefer the still and quiet yet almost everyone around you enjoys the exact opposite. You question your taste in music, in clothes, in movies.
You wonder why you love to dance but don’t find as much pleasure as your peers in dancing to the tune of the male gaze. You wonder why you feel no shame in your weird clothes and big glasses. You start to worry that maybe you are too strong, too tall, and too big boned or ‘fat’ as they usually throw at you.
You question everything about yourself and you start to question God’s own preferences too. If he could love someone like you; his taste must be questionable too!
I am here to ease your confusion and quiet your fears.
One day, you will grow up and find a world that is more inclusive, that is diverse, that won’t jeer at your refusal to starve yourself thin. You will realise that you’re a full person, not half a person because of your height, your size, your shoes, and your clothes.
None of that will matter. None of that matters.
You were never made in halves.
Your full and whole and complete just the way your are.
So stop trying to look for completion and love in all the wrong places.
Those daydreams you have about boys with strong swords and a sharp wit will slowly fade. You won’t let your heart get stolen by thieves who steal glances. You’ll no longer imagine yourself being carried down the road in strong arms.
You’ll no longer put the rest of your life on pause waiting for a man to rescue you from the emptiness you fill inside yourself.
Through observing your friends, you’ll learn to avoid the knights in shining armour:
the kinds who roam hallways, looking for girls to slay, soldiers in a war of wits, looking to secure you to smother their insecurities.
You’ll still believe in that one-drink-two-straws kind of love, and I hope we one day find it. But as you grow you’ll stop looking and start patiently waiting for the man who doesn’t try to complete you, but who loves you completely. I’m sorry to say you haven’t found him yet, but I’m happy to say that you’re okay with that.
We turn out well. So take pride in that. I am proud of you.
Life hasn’t been too easy on you lately, and I am truly sorry about that.
But despite it all, you have managed to keep your head up and continue fighting throughout. Be proud of everything you have gone through, and mostly, what you’ve become. I am a woman of integrity and strength, of wisdom and faith.
I am everything that I am meant to be.
Keep your chin up_the older you.
Karabo Jane From South Africa
Note From the Founder
“Part of the problem with the word ‘disabilities’ is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted.
But what of people who can’t feel? Or talk about their feelings? Or manage their feelings in constructive ways? What of people who aren’t able to form close and strong relationships? And people who cannot find fulfilment in their lives, or those who have lost hope, who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy, no love? These, it seems to me, are the real disabilities.”
As I was planning what to write about in the first quarter of this year, I played around with a multitude of topics in my mind. But none stood out more than, “WHOLENESS” feeling broken, incomplete and being whole, feeling helpless, inadequate and being enough. That’s why I chose this to be the first letter of the year, because there’s just something obvious about emptiness, even when we try to convince ourselves otherwise. I have a platform here, WE have a platform here and I think its time we realised that the words we write have power. The words we write here can bring comfort, inspire change and impact a life. I’m standing in the sun this year.
So even when I can literally feel the terror rise up my spine at the thought of tackling tough deep, raw topics such as these, I remember that I am standing in the sun;
flaws and all, gifts and all. And so can you.
So here’s to tackling the tougher conversations together. And finding answers together.
Keep hanging onto hope.
With All My Love_S
