Dear Lui Junior,
I was asked by a friend (very pretty BTW and intelligent) to talk to you about your childhood, your teenage years, the future and what you are to witness in the years after. Let me just tell you a few things;
You were so lucky to have the upbringing you did. You had everything; a roof over your head, a father who loved you very much (I am sure by now you have lost your amazing beautiful mother), beautiful memories with these people that, at the time, you just thought were another day in your life.
This man who you never considered was someone to be listened to but rather someone who existed to meet your commands and orders; which he gracefully executed without second thoughts. This man who loved you so much that he refused to replace your mother with another woman. This man who you never told “I love you” or “thank you” for all he provided.
My advice to you right now? Enjoy every minute!
Because one day, you’re going to lose the people with whom you created those fond childhood memories with and the pain from this loss will pierce you right to the core. Right now, it terrifies me to know that that day is going to come. Don’t worry though; you shall be surrounded by people who love you.
Yeah, you’re going to be a spoiled kid, a “daddy’s little only boy” and act like you don’t need anyone. But let me tell you this; be humble Lui, you need everyone you meet along the way. These are the people who will be there for you when you think there no one is (Spoiler alert, even fall in love of some of them- If you want to find out whom and when then do one thing for me… GROW UP!!!)
Dear Self…Stop whining and complaining!
Do not think that you deserve everything you ask for and want. Sometimes what we want is not what’s best for us.
Lui junior, listen to what the world has to say; you don’t always have to make the world listen to what you have to say.
You’re going to waltz into higher education not knowing what the hell you want to do with your life. Trust me that is better than just jumping into any old career and ending up hating it.
You’ve got this. Take your time but really think about what you’re good at and what you enjoy. (It’s staring you right in the face!) You will have a couple of career paths, one of which isn’t really for you. Don’t think you’ll be stuck there forever though, because you won’t. It’ll teach you a hell of a lot about life and when you have learnt all you can; your next opportunity will welcome you with open arms. Take it!
When travelling through the years, you’ll pick up some hobbies. Please don’t give up on these! These things will shape you and get you some great friends in the process. I think what I’m really trying to say is; please don’t stop playing basketball or travelling or making friends. (Another spoiler alert, you love taking photos.) So keep loving your ability to capture moments of the people and the beautiful scenery around you.
Oh man, this next part is so important.
As you get older, you’ll get busier and busier with education, relationships, jobs… the list is endless. But please, make some time for your own company.
Now the bad news is; your heart’s going to break and you’re going to break other people’s hearts. It’s all a part of the process. There will be one particular chapter where you lose all hope and feel like there is nothing left for you in this world. Do not listen to those feelings! It’s just the aftermath of making the necessary right decision.
When you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, that’s when you’ll know you’re on the upward journey to being better and stronger than you’ve ever been before.
The great news is you’ll meet an old acquaintance and instantly know what love is. It will be a feeling you have never had before and you’ll think it very weird. But take hold of it and know that the years to come will be the best years of your life.
So just be patient. You’ll get to that point of peace and I can assure you right now that it’s even better than what you dream of. When you reach this point, you’ll feel free. You will think of the past and smile.
Why, you ask? Why, after all the pain, embarrassment and self-loathing will you smile? You will know that every positive memory, every death that came, every relationship that brought you pain allowed you to reach this very point in your life. Thank everyone you meet for helping you grow into the strong person you will soon grow into. Don’t regret anything, no matter how awful it might seem at the time.
I’m sat here; partly worrying about how you are feeling right now but also extremely excited about what the future holds for you. Actually, I know exactly what you will feel in any situation you might be thrown in. I know exactly when you’ll feel scared, anxious or terrified and exactly when you’ll feel complete happiness surging all through your body.
The key to happiness is surrounding yourself with the right people. It’s doing the things that make you smile, no matter what they are. It’s working hard so you can go to all the places you want to go and see all the things you want to see in your lifetime. It’s sitting down after a long day at work and having some well-deserved you time. It’s loving the right person with all of your being. When you can do all that, you’ll see all the beauty in the world.
You’re way stronger than you realize and you’re only going to get stronger.
Remember that the only time you should ever look back is to see how far you’ve come.
Life will eventually become an incredible adventure.
So hang in there,
Present day Lui.
That wonderful letter was written by my friend Arnold Luima.
At age 24 he is a senior auditor at Ernst &Young (a global audit firm) and is currently in his second year pursuing ACCA.
He graduated from Makerere University Business School with a Bachelor of Commerce in the year 2016. In his words he is “doing exactly what he wanted to do in school.” However the decision to become an auditor came to play in his second year at University. A good insightful friend mentioned that maybe he would prefer auditing to accounting and it turned out he did in fact. And so to borrow Lui’s words, may we all learn to
“Listen to what the world has to say”
Keep hanging onto hope.
