I’ve never been physically punched in the face but let me tell you something; life has a weird way of delivering the meanest left hooks! (Did I say that right?)
You never know when they’re coming (unless you made some pretty stupid decisions) or what direction they’re coming from. You totally clueless about how much it’ll hurt and when the hurt will go away. To make it worse, there’s no instruction manual out there for us to use; we certainly aren’t born with one attached to our foreheads titled “just in case life punches you too many times kid.”
But the thing is; when you take so many punches, you start to learn what works and what doesn’t during the recovery process. Sometimes if you’re lucky; you can look back on them with humor and have a good laugh. Other times however they leave scars (the kind that cannot be laughed about.)
One thing’s for certain though; you can either get punched and stay down or get punched and slowly work your way back up. We can always learn from others before us whom life has punched just as hard. So regardless of how your rock bottom looks like (it’s different for everyone; trust me) here’s how you can slowly make your way back up;
Focus on the Present
Don’t obsess over what has happened and how you could have avoided it. The more you obsess about that; going over every detail and reliving it over and over in your mind, the more your fear of that same thing happening again is going to hold you back. Keep yourself in the present because it’s easier to plan for the future that way. Every time you feel your mind slipping into the past, replaying what happened (or didn’t happen), bring it back to the here and now.
“We can let the circumstances of our lives harden us so that we become increasingly resentful and afraid, or we can let them soften us and make us kinder and more open to what scares us. We always have this choice.” – Pema Chodron
Focus on the Present
Yes, I just repeated that. Except this time I mean it literally. Consider rock bottom a present. You might have needed this punch so that you could re-evaluate your life and your decisions. And keep in mind that those punches you just received could have been worse (in some cases.) It could have been worse. As I read somewhere “you could have been born in 14th century and had your penis cut off or your brains eaten out.”
Practice Gratitude
I know, I know. You probably think that line is overrated. But trust me; this works to ease off some of that pain from a sucker punch.
Be Patient with Yourself
Give yourself time to process what happened. Come to terms with the fact that life has just given you a serious punch and then figure out how to proceed from there. But whatever you do…
Keep the Nerves Away
Do Not Panic! In The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday shares how the first American astronaut to orbit the earth, John Glenn, spent almost an entire day in space making sure his heart rate never went over a hundred beats per minute. As Holiday says, “…that’s a man not simply sitting at the controls but in control of his emotions.” This is the same type of control you want to have when you’ve been served a good one. Yes, give yourself time to adjust, but don’t panic either as that’s not going to help the situation at all. In fact you just might do something you regret.
Accept That You Are Vulnerable
Most people see vulnerability as weakness, but it’s actually the exact opposite. In Daring Greatly, Brené Brown says,
“Rather than sitting on the sidelines…we must dare to show up and let ourselves be seen. This is vulnerability.”
Even after that horrible punch, choose to re-engage and take part again. The only way to get better is to continue to play the game. And the only way to continue to play the game is to let yourself be vulnerable. Even if your continuously punched in the face.
Embrace Your Failures
Author Dan Millman says that “… fear of failure generates a vicious cycle that creates what is most feared.” Thus, he suggests that you “…make peace with failure” so it doesn’t keep you from reaching your potential. Can you imagine what this world would look like if, as infants, we didn’t learn to accept our repeated failures—our constant falling down—and get back up anyway?
Learn From Your Experience 
Brad Harker, author of The Laws of Influence, said that, when faced with adversity, we have two basic options. Our first option is simply to “conform to it”…to give in to the fear and insecurities the adversity creates to the point where it stops us from progressing.
The other option, Harker says, is to “…humbly embrace failure as the great teacher and refining fire that has proliferated great men and women from the dawn of civilization.” In other words, learn from that punch.
There’s No Bouncing Back
You don’t bounce back; you (hopefully) progress through. Let go of the desire to have things back to the way they were before you got punched (you’ll probably get punched again if they do) and instead cross your fingers and pray that you can figure out where are so you can move forward in a new (better) way.
Remember you’re not Unique.
That punch you just received; someone has received it before you. That left hook? Someone has suffered through it just like you currently are. Keep this in mind and find comfort in the knowledge that if they were able to get through it; so will you. In this case; you’re not special, you’re not unique. You never have to suffer through that painful punch thinking you’re alone.
Do Something Nice
For others; volunteer somewhere, donate to charity, give food to the hungry and donate those unnecessary pairs of shoes and clothes you own to the needy.
And for yourself; eat some ice cream, go on an adventure, hang out with yourself. Do the things you love (if you can afford them and if they won’t get you punched in the face again) Tell somebody close to you how you feel. Expect nothing from them in return. If they don’t hug you, I will.
Understand that pain, no matter how deep, eventually passes. Nothing lasts. It will eventually get better. Remeber that in hindsight, the punch is always far less important than it first seemed.
So the next time life decides to punch you in the face; I hope that instead of howling at the top of your lungs (that’s allowed too) that you can remember one of these tips.
With All My Love_S.
“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.” – Henry Ford
