“There are two great days in a person’s life – the day we were born and the day we discover why” — William Barclay.
“I dressed up, excited but a little bit nervous. I knew they had planned something… I just didn’t know what. I’ve never been one for surprises but I was willing to talk myself into it this time. After all; this was to be my best birthday yet, right?”
Except. It. Wasn’t.
Don’t get me wrong I had a ton of fun. But October 9th 2017 was the day I truly realized that most of my closest friendships had broken down.
So I started my 21st year with a weight load of guilt, a heavy heart and a bunch of failed friendships.
But what a year it has turned out to be.What I Learned From A Year Of Talking To Strangers…
Looking back now, on the eve of my 22nd birthday; I find it safe to say that this has been my year of immense personal growth. See with life’s fast paced culture these days; it’s easy to draw the conclusion that personal change occurs instantly; that with one quick decision we can decide to completely change our lives.
Except that isn’t necessarily true.
You can’t wake up one day and all of a sudden you notice life altering changes within yourself; I don’t think it works like that. I think it takes time. A lot of time; a lot of uncomfortable moments of silence where you face your darkest truths and most twisted core beliefs and where you make the decision to either run away from the truth starring back at you or to stay and stay still whilst learning how to accept the person starring back at you in the silence.
I spent half of this year seating in that uncomfortable silence; fiercely fighting the urge to fill that quiet with doing a little work, reading or even watching TV shows.
But I knew some changes had to be made. So I started all over and meet me for the first time again. I said to myself,
“Look here Sandrah; I don’t know how to be you. But I’m willing to sit here in this awkward uncomfortable silence and get to know you again.”
And so I did. Those moments; when I was truly silent, were some of the most trying moments of my life but some of the most powerful too. I forced myself to come face to face with everything about me; my habits, my values, my core beliefs, my dreams and goals and ambitions, my strengths and weaknesses, the good and not-so-good. Everything! And if that’s not one of the toughest battles I ever fought then I don’t know what is.
My mind got quiet, my heart opened and I spent the rest of this year learning to love, cherish and accept the person starring back at me in that mirror with all of my being. I was able to trust my own experiences, to find a new way of seeing and to find a place of clarity where I wasn’t controlled by distractions and limiting beliefs.
The biggest lesson I learnt this year was that I was worth taking time out for.
I love who I am and the person I’m becoming. I accept who I am not as good or bad, but as human who’s worthy of that acceptance.
With All My Love_S
